SINGLE IN NEW YORK

Hey Beauties,
         I will be uploading a more detailed video about this post but for now I will put it in words.
So a few post ago I stated that I was going through a lot and that I would touch base on it at a later date, well here is that later date.
Sooooooo For those of you who don't know, I am a New Yorker. Although my parents are both from other places, I was born and raised here. And although I have a love hate relationship with this beautiful city, I have pure HATRED for the dating scene.
I work hard to provide for my children, and working hard = playing less. Therefore my dating life sucked. So little ole me signed up on this little site called Plenty Of Fish or (POF). It was a free site where men can hound women and the women can "sell things" O_o
It truly wasn't the place for someone like me. Someone genuinely looking for love.
After about a year I did happen to meet someone. We started off speaking on the phone for 3 months straight, then graduated to spending loads of time together. Optimistically after about 8 months I ended up convincing myself that he was "The One" we had so much in common and I fell in love with his family and I guess being around someone so much you eventually catch feelings more rapidly than usual!  Welp Long story short (the hounding for women never stopped for him) and I was left heart broken.  After encountering my share of morons I eventually decided to be delete my profile in its entirety. I then took some time for healing and recollection. And I remember sitting at home one day watching television and these damn commercials kept coming on......
Well needless to say that after PLENTY and PLENTY OF "COMMERCIALS" I decided to join Eharmony.
Welp for those of you who have no knowledge of the site I will say this,
you are put through an extensive amount of questioning. Like eeexxxxttteeenssiivveeeee!!!!!
When you are asked so much about your life, your likes, and dislikes you become very...... Whats the words I'm looking for? The word is HOPEFUL. You become hopeful that maybe, just maybe true love is out there.  And before I go any further I will say this
I AM AN EXTREME HOPELESS ROMANTIC. I LOVE; LOVE, THE IDEA OF LOVE, AND THE FEELING OF ACTUALLY BEING IN LOVE!!.
Now back to regular scheduled programming.. :-)
I met someone my 2nd day on the site. And when I say met I mean conversed via "site" then graduated to phone calls/ texting.
It took 3 months to meet in person and I thought he was a rad dude..
We spoke about him opening doors, having respect for women, and overall just being this RAD guy...
...................... It took 6 months for me to see that NONE of that crap was the truth.
He was overly demanding, insecure, and a complete Asshole..I wasn't allowed to dress, walk or talk like myself I had to change everything while he told me that he needed to change absolutely nothing. But I stayed stupid me.. and eventually I got a nice ring.. A ring that he kept from his family and meant nothing because he stated that he wasn't even ready for marriage.. Again Asshole.. I left after we hit the 10 month mark.  Best thing I could of done for my sanity!! Thank you Jesus!! :-)
I took some time off And then started dating again.
and again
and again
and again...................................................................
I don't ask for much. I ask for open communication, honesty, respect and some more respect. But it seems that The Big Apple is full of people who have no idea, what they want.
Men and woman who would rather Have Sex than to open their hearts to the possibility of love.
Men who state they want relationships but wouldn't know one if it were staring them in the face.
I'm SOOOOOOOOO old school. I just want that "SILLY LOVE". The one where you know you'll get a Good Morning call, The one where holding hands in Central park is better than going to a bar for drinks, The one where I fall asleep at night and he's on my mind and I know I'm on his. The one where we make dinner together at home and watch Netflix. The one that isn't based upon finances but LOVE and pure RESPECT for one another. I never thought that I would ever give up on the possibility that I would find just what I'm looking for. But I have gone from 100 % - about 30%. And its unfortunate that SEX runs this CITY of dreams. And love has become so far fetched that everyone is just existing.. This journey Is exhausting! And I refuse to settle for anything other than what I deserve!!
If the guy I'm seeing has all these damn rules about
When to and when not to call
How long before feelings should be revealed
How long will I stick around before she puts out
My friends have to like her
She has to like sports
and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! then I will cross him out my life like a bad habit.
Relationships aren't built for rules. It should flow naturally. It should feel natural and a list is just so so so YUCK!
Get to know me for me. Make your decisions based on my heart, the time we spend together, and how I treat you, not on a "DAMN LIST".
I guess that's why I'm single because I just can't deal with the whole unnatural feel of this new dating system.. So Now I ask
How do
you fellow New Yorker cope with dating?
And how is dating elsewhere?

                                                                                                                               XOXO BrittanyAlissa

My Bulimia Update

Hey Beauties,
                    So it's time for an update about whats been going on in my life.
I made a recent video about bulimia and how it played a role in my life. And some of you have asked me for an update on that, so here goes. YES I am still suffering with it. Because of it I have lost a total of 20lbs in a little over a month, I went from 184 -164 which is my current weight now. My jean size was a 12/13 and now I am a size 8.
Even though these numbers look great to me, I am still obsessed with losing more and everyday is a constant battle to try and do it the right way... To be 100% honest with all of you, it gives me anxiety to regurgitate my food because I know that it is truly unhealthy and I'm afraid that I will die if it continues. I've been trying to incorporate as much food as I can, and simple talking to myself about how I need to keep it down. And when I do eat a little I tell myself its ok and then just run with my dog in my area.. AGAIN its a battle...
For those of you who didn't know, I was engaged to be married to the man I thought was truly going to be my husband. When the relationship started falling a part and then deteriorated I started becoming obsessed with looking my best and proving to myself that I deserved to be happy. (SILLY I KNOW) but being with someone for so long and giving your whole heart to them, only to then realize they aren't who you thought they were really takes a toll on you physically, mentally and emotionally. I won't talk about the other things that transpired within that relationship. But I will say this (when you already have an illness such as bulimia, it never really goes away, you just simply learn to cope and you become really good at hiding it. But it only takes a Word, a Phrase, or a Sentence to bring it right back). And unfortunately it came back within that particular relationship. NO I am not blaming anyone for this. I am an adult and I am in charge of my own life. But when you are unhappy you tend to find other ways to bring that happiness back and losing weight was that for me. AHHHHHH
Being this honest hurts to the core, and brings tears to my eyes. Putting this out there for the world  allows criticism and ignorance.. But I will always be as honest as possible in hopes that I can help someone else..........
*I am currently getting the help I need to overcome this. I will not allow this to be the death of me and I will not make excuses for it. Hopefully in the next few months I will be back to myself again. But for now I will continue to update you all at least once a month.* I really hope this can help someone out there seek the help they need. Thanks for reading.
                                                                                                 

XOXO BrittanyAlissa

My Favorite Park

Hey Beauties,
                     Let me 1st start off by saying that I hope you all had a wonderful and safe 4th of July.
There is just so much to update you on but i'll save that for a later date and time. So jumping into things...... Every year around the summer time I go to central park to relax, enjoy the view and also to take some pictures. My original plan was to go there on the 4th, but being that the weather was such a mess I just decided to go to the Marriot and lounge out by the pool instead....
Well yesterday I woke up in a rut and all I wanted to do was stay in bed with some ice cream and life time, but instead of feeling down I got myself together and took my butt to my favorite park. I have always enjoyed taking pictures by the Garden and running on the grass that ( People aren't allowed on). So I made it my duty to do just that.. LOL... But all in all it was a fun simple relaxing day. So tell me, How did you guys spend your weekend?

For More pictures and to find out what I'm wearing, be sure to check out my fashion blog at 

www.allaboutbeauty1on1fashion.com

Give Me Love

Hey Beauties,
                   So as the weeks have been passing by I've been trying to find new ways to cope or rather over come my eating disorder. One thing that I've been doing regularly is dancing. I dance for a number of reasons, the 1st one being its a good form of exercise, it clears your head from all the negative thoughts flowing through it, and it truly allows you to be free. The other day I heard a song that really hit home for me. The lyrics touched my soul and the only thing I wanted to do after hearing it was dance. So that's exactly what I did. On Saturday I decided to set up my camera and actually show what I call (Expressive dancing), I used to dance ballet when I was younger and although that was many years ago it hasn't left me completely. Here is the video of it. I hope you all truly enjoy it.

XOXO BrittanyAlissa

I Can Smell Summer

Hey Beauties,
                  So here in NY the weather has been so all over the place that we are literally in Jackets one day and shorts the next. But what has been keeping a smile on my face is the fact that I know Summer is right around the corner. Tomorrow is June 1st and that means the count down officially begins and boy I can't wait. Here are a few pictures of me out and about enjoying the weather so far.. :-)

I look forward to posting more wonderful weather pics and outings. Stay safe! XOXO BrittanyAlissa

BULIMIA AND ME, MY BATTLE

Hey Beauties,
                  So I've decided to allow myself to be free of this burden I've been carrying for the past few years. I've never opened up about my eating disorder before (only to family), mostly because I've always felt that I had complete control over it. In my mind there was no need to discuss something I thought wasn't that big of a deal! I guess that was my 1st mistake.
The 1st time I knew I had a serious problem was about 4 or 5 years ago. I was stick thin and so sick that the hospital became my second home. Everyone around me just assumed that I was just losing weight, no one knew that I was hiding something,  but the was reality was that I was screaming out for help….. Well years have passed since I was at the darkest place in my life, and I thought it was all behind me…
Unfortunately that isn't the case.. My eating disorder has come back in full force and everyday I find it even harder to cope with than the day before.. I know that I have a problem and I am determined to make this a thing of the past, just as I have done before! In my video I go more into details, so if your interested feel free to watch.

XOXO BrittanyAlissa

Patterns in Relationships

Hey Beauties,
                So you all should know by now that if something relationship affiliated pops into my brain I have to come here and type away, so here goes.
Have you ever had this one person in your life that you ran back to despite all the heartache involved?
We'll if you haven't I have and I would like to share exactly what the experience has taught me.
The saying love has no limits is true to a fault. But love should have limits, and when you don't set boundaries you set yourself up for complete failure. We as humans adapt to our surroundings, we allow things to continue even when we know in our heart of hearts that we should just walk away. And why you may ask...
The answer is for fear of starting over.
Why leave a comfortable situation for the unknown?
The problem with this theory is that once patterns develop they become heard to break. The definition of insanity is doing things over and over again expecting to gain different results. So how can you expect the tears to stop, when you aren't doing anything to stop them from falling? I'll speak from experience and say that I stayed because I was in love. I cried thinking that the tears would soon turn into a life long smile. But what I didn't understand was that if it was meant to work it would have worked from the beginning. People change when they are ready and honestly there isn't any true way to know for sure if any changes will be made. We as people stay because we become hopeful. We put it in our minds that things will work out no matter how hard they were before. And once we hear what we want we almost always run back with open arms. I got so wrapped up in changing myself that I hadn't paid any attention to the other persons lack of progress. But it wasn't all their fault. I had fallen into the pattern of running away without ever truly expressing what the core of the problem was. I was expecting this person to change when I never stated the problem. Perhaps if I had opened up the lines of communication and expressed my unhappiness from the door, we would have never had a failed relationship to begin with.....
Now with that being said, there is also a flip side to that coin.
You may express your unhappiness and still never see change. Like I stated before, people only change when they are ready. So if that other person isn't ready, the unhappiness will remain.
This is why they are called patterns...........
We get hurt, we leave, we come back we cry and then do it all over again. But always remember that love isn't a one way street. But you can love someone completely and never have that love returned. That's just the risk we take in relationships.....
Its just so sad that we continue to stay knowing that there is a big possibility we'll be hurt again! There has to be a stop sign, a red flag , or a smoke signal that comes up when we are repeating this cycle..... Right? Wrong!
But when you finally become tired of the pattern, or the reoccurring cycle, your heart will allow you the
peace needed to walk away!

Why The Need For Sex?

Hey Beauties,
                      So I've had an epiphany, and I'd like to share it with all of you.
We live in a world where no one really takes dating seriously anymore. Now a days dating pretty much =SEX and us women and men all fall victim. Well as I was sitting here thinking of what to write, my mind kept coming back to relationships and what "I" want to do differently in my own life.
For those of us who read the bible we know that fornication is frowned upon, so if we know this, why do we do it? I really hate to post anything from a religious stand point so I'm going to wrap up this angle by asking this one last question. How can we have a blessed relationship if we aren't living the way we are told to from the bible? I will speak for myself and say this, I have NEVER had a successful relationship and I'm now wondering is it because that every relationship I've had, has had sex somewhere in it? I now want to test this theory and see, could I possibly get the man that I want forever by not sleeping with him until we are married. I've always considered myself to be a hopeless romantic, but yet I've never really had romance. I'm always the one lighting candles, making dinner, and giving massages. But the harsh reality was always that I did those things hoping to get a ring out of the deal. I have now truly excepted the phrase "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"? If I'm giving this guy sex, dinner, massages and taking care of him as only a wife should, then why would he want to make me his wife for real. He doesn't have to strive to get those things because I'm already giving them willingly so then where does the drive to marry me fit in?
Have you guys ever thought about what happens when sex is taken off the plate?
We preach everyday about the 4 key values to having a successful relationship
1.Communication
2. Respect
3. Trust
4. Honesty
But the fact remains that more than half of us have had or now has a relationship that lacks in almost all of these things and I can't help but wonder is it because we are being sexual intimate?
Perhaps if we removed sex we would have exactly what we know we should have.
Think about it, if there was no sex Communication would take the leading role in our lives. We would be talking more instead of screwing rather than screwing and having nothing to talk about. I know that I want to marry my best friend and most of the men I've been intimate with couldn't even be one of my associates.......... So then why was I sleeping with them?
What's the greatest gift you can give to your husband on your wedding night? The answer is "You"
All of you! If you are already giving "you" there is nothing left. And I honestly believe that; that's where we fail. We can't keep pointing the finger blaming each other for our failed relationships when in reality we should be looking in the mirror.
What happened to the days when men courted women?
What happened to the days when we sat up all night talking on the phone? And the days we got
picked up and dropped off at our doors? No! Doesn't anyone miss those things?
I miss those things.
I am making a vow to myself. I will have those things, and how I will go about getting them, is by keeping my legs closed. I deserve to be courted just like I deserve to be some great mans wife.
You can learn someone in they're entirety within the 1st few months and by then you should be able to distinguish if they are worth keeping around or not without sex getting in the mix. Just think, if they weren't meant for you then walking away will be a piece of cake, and if they are then what's waiting until marriage? I've failed before doing things the other way, and I owe it to myself to give this way a try....
Thanks for reading and I hope you all found this post helpful....
                                                                                               Brittanyalissa

SPRING

Hey Beauties,
        So spring is in the air and usually all this means is that your clothing choices change, your mood may be a little different, and people seem a bit happier.
Well I'm going to share with you a few things that come to my mind when I think about Spring.
#1. The whether means that I can officially start dressing prettier. ( Theres something about layers of clothes that just make me feel yucky.)
#2. Six flags great adventures opens up for Spring break and then every weekend there after up until the summer time.
#3. Spring cleaning is always something that I look forward to. I love switching out the clothes in my draws and making room for all the latest Spring fashions, and I definitely love being able to change the curtains and bedding in my apartment.
#4. Shopping………. I say this not because I am a shopping addict, even though I am.. But I say it because when its cold outside shopping really isn't that fun. I mean having a ton of clothes on and walking around feeling like you've doubled in size……. Yea not really to fun.
#5. For some strange reason, to me Spring feels like love……… Having the person you love near by being able to hold hands with light jackets, eating ice cream in the park…. Yea that just feels so right.
                 So now that you all know what Spring means to me, I would like to know what it means to all of you..
Until next time Beauties :-)

A Fantasy Of Flowers By Mac

Hey Beauties,

                   If you have the opportunity to visit the Mac store I would highly recommend it. They have a new collection called "A Fantasy Of flowers" and the collection is truly to die for. I hope you all watch and enjoy this video…..
                            P.S--  People get affected with the Aids/HIV virus everyday and now we can make a small difference by going out to buy the Viva Glam Collection. Part of the proceeds go to the those people effected. What greater reason is there to shop?

"Janet Collection" Peruvian Natural Hair

Hey Beauties,

              So I just couldn't wait to get this new hair by "Janet Collection" and I'm so happy to share it with all of you.

HAPPINESS DEFINED

Hey Beauties,

                     Today is one of those days where I just felt the need to put my fingers to the keyboard and type my emotions so here goes……………………………...

    When someone says HAPPINESS; what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

Well the 1st thing that comes to my mind is "Family". Growing up in the system I don't really know 1st hand what a "family" is, but i've always imagined what it was to have one and I promised myself that I would always strive to have what I thought a family was. I don't know what its like to have a stand up man in my life and thats because most women get they're ideas from the fathers they have in they're lives and unfortunately No Family = No dad.  So instead of knowing what a "Great man" was, I got with men who I thought were great. The men who wanted to change me, the men who cheated, the men who lied, and the men who grew up in single family households and had no idea how a man was suppose to act or rather behave. I've spent my whole life praying for my idea of this "family" I so desperately seek. And a few times I thought I was close. I've had the men that I thought were heaven sent and I was on cloud 9 each and every time, but while I thought I was happy I didn't notice that I was changing who I was to fit each and every one of they're ideas of perfection. So in all actuallity I wasn't happy. I was so busy trying to fill a void that I had no idea that I was more lost than ever before. 

    The same men that hurt me were the same men I wanted this so called "family" with. I became someone I didn't recognize. I used to cry and ask myself , Why would you be with a man who cheats on you? Why would you be with a man who abuses you? Why would you want to be someones second choice? Why is that man that doesn't allow you to have a voice the man you hold so tight? Is this what "family" really means to you? Are you that weak?

And even though I knew the answers to all of those questions I stayed,

I stayed because I felt that maybe if I make them happy then they'll wanna return that same happiness. All men want a well educated, smart, corky women…. RIGHT?????? 

I don't know what its like to have a healthy relationship.

I don't know what its like to have someone try to make me happy.

I don't know what its like to Love someone and have that same love reciprocated.

All I know are tears. All I've ever felt is hurt. Feeling like Im not good enough, feeling like why me? Why can't I have a "family"?

After all of the tears and all of the hurt I realized that it wasn't what I was searching for, but rather WHO. 

I needed to find me. And each day I find another piece.

I have so many imperfections and I had to seriously understand that if a man loved me he wouldn't hurt me, there would be no tears, or cheating, and very few arguments.  So why was I settling? Oh yea it was for that damn "family". 

Out of the whole search I managed to have 3 great children 1 of which is no longer here but missed desperately. So I now have a family. My children are all the family I needed, and although it may not be the idea or dream I always wanted it may be JUST what I needed to break the cycle.

I now know that I have happiness. And having a man,or husband doesn't mean your happy. But having the "RIGHT" man in your life can ADD happiness to your already happy life. 

I will remain a hopeless romantic that is something I won't be able to help, but I will not allow romance to consume who I am as a woman, or have it allow me to be in situations that are extremly unhealthy. So what Is my Idea of HAPPINESS?

My idea of hapiness is being able to love ME unconditionally and loving my children to no end.  

Living my life because each day isn't promised, making mistakes, having little regrets, and allowing ME to be responsible for ME. And if and when that special someone comes along I'll know just what to look for. And what not to look for!
Until then I have all the happiness I need.. So now I ask
What Is your DEFINITION?

My Clarisonic Addiction

Hey Beauties,
           So over the course of the holidays I decided to purchase a Clarisonic. For those of you who are uaware of exactly what it is I will fill you in..
Clarisonic makes face and body machines with a spinning powerful brush heads that deep clean your face and body. A few of the brush sets are called
Mia
Mia 2
Aria
and thats not even naming them all. What I love about them is that they cater to just about ever skin type which allows any and every body to use them. To say I'm obsessed would be putting it lightly because this thing is truly a God send. My face has never felt better and my pores have never looked smaller. The prices can range anywhere from $99-$399 and honestly it is worth ever penny. To see my full review and tutorial I will be posting a video below. As usual I would like to Thank you for visiting and I hope this was helpful.

All About Beauty 1on1 Fashion: Christmas Outfit choice

All About Beauty 1on1 Fashion: Christmas Outfit choice: Hey Beauties,                I would like to wish all of you a Merry Christmas, and I truly hope it was both safe and family filled. Now w...

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Hey Beauties,
                     Christmas isn't all about who got what, but more of how loved each and everyone of us felt. Although it may not be ideal for us to single out holidays for family get togethers, sometimes it just happens to work out that way. I know that no matter what the occasion, it is always great to see loved ones. And I would Genuinely like to wish you all a Merry Christmas From my family to yours.

All About Beauty 1on1 Fashion

Hey Beauties,
                 I just wanted to let you know all know that I now have a site dedicated to everything fashion. So now instead of rummaging through all of the other post you can go straight to the fashion site and get outfit ideas and learn the latest trends. I hope that you all are as happy as I am about this new venture.The link is www.allaboutbeauty1on1fashion.blogspot.com  And i hope you all will love it just as much as I already do.
                                                  Yours Truly, Bittanyalissa

Harassment is never ok

Hey Beauties,
        I'm gonna need your help.
I am being harassed by my Ex boyfriend and his friends one in particular. They have been writing anonymously on my blog and I want it to stop. Late last night I contacted the NYPD to investigate the crime that is being committed. I've also contacted Google and informed them of the situation. Today I will also be contacting my lawyer because what is being done is both unjust and childish and I will NOT stand for it. My blog allows me the freedom to speak about certain topics as long as specific names aren't involved and NO the blog post don't have anyone's specific information on it. The messages that are being written are about my children, and my character both of which I will fight till the death to protect. So what I need from all of you beauties is to email me whenever something is posted. I am keeping a paper trail of every comment as well as every single post. This is  a form of Bullying and people are dying everyday because of it. Again Harassment is a CRIME so lets all work together to make it stop!! Up until today I repeat NO ONE specifically was named in any post so I don't understand why anyone is taking offense to it. But when my name and my children are being slandered we now have a problem. THANK YOU in advance beauties I look forward to putting an end to this as quickly as possible!

Full head weave

Hey Beauties,
           I just recently did a full head weave using Bronx hair supply. I hope you all find this video helpful... Enjoy

XOXO Brittanyalissa

Summer dress OOTD

Hey Beauties,
                    I am so very happy that summer is finally here! This is the time of year that families cookout, go to the beach, and pretty much spend a lot of quality time together. What makes this season even better is the fact that us Beauties get to put on our prettiest dresses and nice sandals and finally feel free of all the bulky clothes and Jackets that are associated with other seasons. So here is one of my Outfit choices for this beautiful weather! I hope you all enjoy

XOXO Brittanyalissa

4th of July Sisters OOTD

Hey Beauties,

                   First let me start off by saying that I hope everyone had a safe and happy 4th. Next my sister and I decided to do a sisters OOTD. It was really fun and I felt great that I actually got her on camera doing something other than just hair videos. I hope you all enjoy it just as much as we did!