Hey Beauties,
So you all should know by now that if something relationship affiliated pops into my brain I have to come here and type away, so here goes.
Have you ever had this one person in your life that you ran back to despite all the heartache involved?
We'll if you haven't I have and I would like to share exactly what the experience has taught me.
The saying love has no limits is true to a fault. But love should have limits, and when you don't set boundaries you set yourself up for complete failure. We as humans adapt to our surroundings, we allow things to continue even when we know in our heart of hearts that we should just walk away. And why you may ask...
The answer is for fear of starting over.
Why leave a comfortable situation for the unknown?
The problem with this theory is that once patterns develop they become heard to break. The definition of insanity is doing things over and over again expecting to gain different results. So how can you expect the tears to stop, when you aren't doing anything to stop them from falling? I'll speak from experience and say that I stayed because I was in love. I cried thinking that the tears would soon turn into a life long smile. But what I didn't understand was that if it was meant to work it would have worked from the beginning. People change when they are ready and honestly there isn't any true way to know for sure if any changes will be made. We as people stay because we become hopeful. We put it in our minds that things will work out no matter how hard they were before. And once we hear what we want we almost always run back with open arms. I got so wrapped up in changing myself that I hadn't paid any attention to the other persons lack of progress. But it wasn't all their fault. I had fallen into the pattern of running away without ever truly expressing what the core of the problem was. I was expecting this person to change when I never stated the problem. Perhaps if I had opened up the lines of communication and expressed my unhappiness from the door, we would have never had a failed relationship to begin with.....
Now with that being said, there is also a flip side to that coin.
You may express your unhappiness and still never see change. Like I stated before, people only change when they are ready. So if that other person isn't ready, the unhappiness will remain.
This is why they are called patterns...........
We get hurt, we leave, we come back we cry and then do it all over again. But always remember that love isn't a one way street. But you can love someone completely and never have that love returned. That's just the risk we take in relationships.....
Its just so sad that we continue to stay knowing that there is a big possibility we'll be hurt again! There has to be a stop sign, a red flag , or a smoke signal that comes up when we are repeating this cycle..... Right? Wrong!
But when you finally become tired of the pattern, or the reoccurring cycle, your heart will allow you the
peace needed to walk away!
BrittanyAlissa
Monday, April 28, 2014
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Why The Need For Sex?
Hey Beauties,
So I've had an epiphany, and I'd like to share it with all of you.
We live in a world where no one really takes dating seriously anymore. Now a days dating pretty much =SEX and us women and men all fall victim. Well as I was sitting here thinking of what to write, my mind kept coming back to relationships and what "I" want to do differently in my own life.
For those of us who read the bible we know that fornication is frowned upon, so if we know this, why do we do it? I really hate to post anything from a religious stand point so I'm going to wrap up this angle by asking this one last question. How can we have a blessed relationship if we aren't living the way we are told to from the bible? I will speak for myself and say this, I have NEVER had a successful relationship and I'm now wondering is it because that every relationship I've had, has had sex somewhere in it? I now want to test this theory and see, could I possibly get the man that I want forever by not sleeping with him until we are married. I've always considered myself to be a hopeless romantic, but yet I've never really had romance. I'm always the one lighting candles, making dinner, and giving massages. But the harsh reality was always that I did those things hoping to get a ring out of the deal. I have now truly excepted the phrase "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"? If I'm giving this guy sex, dinner, massages and taking care of him as only a wife should, then why would he want to make me his wife for real. He doesn't have to strive to get those things because I'm already giving them willingly so then where does the drive to marry me fit in?
Have you guys ever thought about what happens when sex is taken off the plate?
We preach everyday about the 4 key values to having a successful relationship
1.Communication
2. Respect
3. Trust
4. Honesty
But the fact remains that more than half of us have had or now has a relationship that lacks in almost all of these things and I can't help but wonder is it because we are being sexual intimate?
Perhaps if we removed sex we would have exactly what we know we should have.
Think about it, if there was no sex Communication would take the leading role in our lives. We would be talking more instead of screwing rather than screwing and having nothing to talk about. I know that I want to marry my best friend and most of the men I've been intimate with couldn't even be one of my associates.......... So then why was I sleeping with them?
What's the greatest gift you can give to your husband on your wedding night? The answer is "You"
All of you! If you are already giving "you" there is nothing left. And I honestly believe that; that's where we fail. We can't keep pointing the finger blaming each other for our failed relationships when in reality we should be looking in the mirror.
What happened to the days when men courted women?
What happened to the days when we sat up all night talking on the phone? And the days we got
picked up and dropped off at our doors? No! Doesn't anyone miss those things?
I miss those things.
I am making a vow to myself. I will have those things, and how I will go about getting them, is by keeping my legs closed. I deserve to be courted just like I deserve to be some great mans wife.
You can learn someone in they're entirety within the 1st few months and by then you should be able to distinguish if they are worth keeping around or not without sex getting in the mix. Just think, if they weren't meant for you then walking away will be a piece of cake, and if they are then what's waiting until marriage? I've failed before doing things the other way, and I owe it to myself to give this way a try....
Thanks for reading and I hope you all found this post helpful....
Brittanyalissa
So I've had an epiphany, and I'd like to share it with all of you.
We live in a world where no one really takes dating seriously anymore. Now a days dating pretty much =SEX and us women and men all fall victim. Well as I was sitting here thinking of what to write, my mind kept coming back to relationships and what "I" want to do differently in my own life.
For those of us who read the bible we know that fornication is frowned upon, so if we know this, why do we do it? I really hate to post anything from a religious stand point so I'm going to wrap up this angle by asking this one last question. How can we have a blessed relationship if we aren't living the way we are told to from the bible? I will speak for myself and say this, I have NEVER had a successful relationship and I'm now wondering is it because that every relationship I've had, has had sex somewhere in it? I now want to test this theory and see, could I possibly get the man that I want forever by not sleeping with him until we are married. I've always considered myself to be a hopeless romantic, but yet I've never really had romance. I'm always the one lighting candles, making dinner, and giving massages. But the harsh reality was always that I did those things hoping to get a ring out of the deal. I have now truly excepted the phrase "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"? If I'm giving this guy sex, dinner, massages and taking care of him as only a wife should, then why would he want to make me his wife for real. He doesn't have to strive to get those things because I'm already giving them willingly so then where does the drive to marry me fit in?
Have you guys ever thought about what happens when sex is taken off the plate?
We preach everyday about the 4 key values to having a successful relationship
1.Communication
2. Respect
3. Trust
4. Honesty
But the fact remains that more than half of us have had or now has a relationship that lacks in almost all of these things and I can't help but wonder is it because we are being sexual intimate?
Perhaps if we removed sex we would have exactly what we know we should have.
Think about it, if there was no sex Communication would take the leading role in our lives. We would be talking more instead of screwing rather than screwing and having nothing to talk about. I know that I want to marry my best friend and most of the men I've been intimate with couldn't even be one of my associates.......... So then why was I sleeping with them?
What's the greatest gift you can give to your husband on your wedding night? The answer is "You"
All of you! If you are already giving "you" there is nothing left. And I honestly believe that; that's where we fail. We can't keep pointing the finger blaming each other for our failed relationships when in reality we should be looking in the mirror.
What happened to the days when men courted women?
What happened to the days when we sat up all night talking on the phone? And the days we got
picked up and dropped off at our doors? No! Doesn't anyone miss those things?
I miss those things.
I am making a vow to myself. I will have those things, and how I will go about getting them, is by keeping my legs closed. I deserve to be courted just like I deserve to be some great mans wife.
You can learn someone in they're entirety within the 1st few months and by then you should be able to distinguish if they are worth keeping around or not without sex getting in the mix. Just think, if they weren't meant for you then walking away will be a piece of cake, and if they are then what's waiting until marriage? I've failed before doing things the other way, and I owe it to myself to give this way a try....
Thanks for reading and I hope you all found this post helpful....
Brittanyalissa
Thursday, April 10, 2014
SPRING
Hey Beauties,
So spring is in the air and usually all this means is that your clothing choices change, your mood may be a little different, and people seem a bit happier.
Well I'm going to share with you a few things that come to my mind when I think about Spring.
#1. The whether means that I can officially start dressing prettier. ( Theres something about layers of clothes that just make me feel yucky.)
#2. Six flags great adventures opens up for Spring break and then every weekend there after up until the summer time.
#3. Spring cleaning is always something that I look forward to. I love switching out the clothes in my draws and making room for all the latest Spring fashions, and I definitely love being able to change the curtains and bedding in my apartment.
#4. Shopping………. I say this not because I am a shopping addict,even though I am.. But I say it because when its cold outside shopping really isn't that fun. I mean having a ton of clothes on and walking around feeling like you've doubled in size……. Yea not really to fun.
#5. For some strange reason, to me Spring feels like love……… Having the person you love near by being able to hold hands with light jackets, eating ice cream in the park…. Yea that just feels so right.
So now that you all know what Spring means to me, I would like to know what it means to all of you..
Until next time Beauties :-)
So spring is in the air and usually all this means is that your clothing choices change, your mood may be a little different, and people seem a bit happier.
Well I'm going to share with you a few things that come to my mind when I think about Spring.
#1. The whether means that I can officially start dressing prettier. ( Theres something about layers of clothes that just make me feel yucky.)
#2. Six flags great adventures opens up for Spring break and then every weekend there after up until the summer time.
#3. Spring cleaning is always something that I look forward to. I love switching out the clothes in my draws and making room for all the latest Spring fashions, and I definitely love being able to change the curtains and bedding in my apartment.
#4. Shopping………. I say this not because I am a shopping addict,
#5. For some strange reason, to me Spring feels like love……… Having the person you love near by being able to hold hands with light jackets, eating ice cream in the park…. Yea that just feels so right.
So now that you all know what Spring means to me, I would like to know what it means to all of you..
Until next time Beauties :-)
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
A Fantasy Of Flowers By Mac
Hey Beauties,
If you have the opportunity to visit the Mac store I would highly recommend it. They have a new collection called "A Fantasy Of flowers" and the collection is truly to die for. I hope you all watch and enjoy this video…..
P.S-- People get affected with the Aids/HIV virus everyday and now we can make a small difference by going out to buy the Viva Glam Collection. Part of the proceeds go to the those people effected. What greater reason is there to shop?
P.S-- People get affected with the Aids/HIV virus everyday and now we can make a small difference by going out to buy the Viva Glam Collection. Part of the proceeds go to the those people effected. What greater reason is there to shop?
"Janet Collection" Peruvian Natural Hair
Hey Beauties,
So I just couldn't wait to get this new hair by "Janet Collection" and I'm so happy to share it with all of you.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
HAPPINESS DEFINED
Hey Beauties,
Today is one of those days where I just felt the need to put my fingers to the keyboard and type my emotions so here goes……………………………...
When someone says HAPPINESS; what is the first thing that comes to your mind?
Well the 1st thing that comes to my mind is "Family". Growing up in the system I don't really know 1st hand what a "family" is, but i've always imagined what it was to have one and I promised myself that I would always strive to have what I thought a family was. I don't know what its like to have a stand up man in my life and thats because most women get they're ideas from the fathers they have in they're lives and unfortunately No Family = No dad. So instead of knowing what a "Great man" was, I got with men who I thought were great. The men who wanted to change me, the men who cheated, the men who lied, and the men who grew up in single family households and had no idea how a man was suppose to act or rather behave. I've spent my whole life praying for my idea of this "family" I so desperately seek. And a few times I thought I was close. I've had the men that I thought were heaven sent and I was on cloud 9 each and every time, but while I thought I was happy I didn't notice that I was changing who I was to fit each and every one of they're ideas of perfection. So in all actuallity I wasn't happy. I was so busy trying to fill a void that I had no idea that I was more lost than ever before.
The same men that hurt me were the same men I wanted this so called "family" with. I became someone I didn't recognize. I used to cry and ask myself , Why would you be with a man who cheats on you? Why would you be with a man who abuses you? Why would you want to be someones second choice? Why is that man that doesn't allow you to have a voice the man you hold so tight? Is this what "family" really means to you? Are you that weak?
And even though I knew the answers to all of those questions I stayed,
I stayed because I felt that maybe if I make them happy then they'll wanna return that same happiness. All men want a well educated, smart, corky women…. RIGHT??????
I don't know what its like to have a healthy relationship.
I don't know what its like to have someone try to make me happy.
I don't know what its like to Love someone and have that same love reciprocated.
All I know are tears. All I've ever felt is hurt. Feeling like Im not good enough, feeling like why me? Why can't I have a "family"?
After all of the tears and all of the hurt I realized that it wasn't what I was searching for, but rather WHO.
I needed to find me. And each day I find another piece.
I have so many imperfections and I had to seriously understand that if a man loved me he wouldn't hurt me, there would be no tears, or cheating, and very few arguments. So why was I settling? Oh yea it was for that damn "family".
Out of the whole search I managed to have 3 great children 1 of which is no longer here but missed desperately. So I now have a family. My children are all the family I needed, and although it may not be the idea or dream I always wanted it may be JUST what I needed to break the cycle.
I now know that I have happiness. And having a man,or husband doesn't mean your happy. But having the "RIGHT" man in your life can ADD happiness to your already happy life.
I will remain a hopeless romantic that is something I won't be able to help, but I will not allow romance to consume who I am as a woman, or have it allow me to be in situations that are extremly unhealthy. So what Is my Idea of HAPPINESS?
My idea of hapiness is being able to love ME unconditionally and loving my children to no end.
Living my life because each day isn't promised, making mistakes, having little regrets, and allowing ME to be responsible for ME. And if and when that special someone comes along I'll know just what to look for. And what not to look for!
Until then I have all the happiness I need.. So now I ask
What Is your DEFINITION?
Until then I have all the happiness I need.. So now I ask
What Is your DEFINITION?
Saturday, January 4, 2014
My Clarisonic Addiction
Hey Beauties,
So over the course of the holidays I decided to purchase a Clarisonic. For those of you who are uaware of exactly what it is I will fill you in..
Clarisonic makes face and body machines with a spinning powerful brush heads that deep clean your face and body. A few of the brush sets are called
Mia
Mia 2
Aria
and thats not even naming them all. What I love about them is that they cater to just about ever skin type which allows any and every body to use them. To say I'mobsessed would be putting it lightly because this thing is truly a God send. My face has never felt better and my pores have never looked smaller. The prices can range anywhere from $99-$399 and honestly it is worth ever penny. To see my full review and tutorial I will be posting a video below. As usual I would like to Thank you for visiting and I hope this was helpful.
So over the course of the holidays I decided to purchase a Clarisonic. For those of you who are uaware of exactly what it is I will fill you in..
Clarisonic makes face and body machines with a spinning powerful brush heads that deep clean your face and body. A few of the brush sets are called
Mia
Mia 2
Aria
and thats not even naming them all. What I love about them is that they cater to just about ever skin type which allows any and every body to use them. To say I'm
Thursday, December 26, 2013
All About Beauty 1on1 Fashion: Christmas Outfit choice
All About Beauty 1on1 Fashion: Christmas Outfit choice: Hey Beauties, I would like to wish all of you a Merry Christmas, and I truly hope it was both safe and family filled. Now w...
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hey Beauties,
Christmas isn't all about who got what, but more of how loved each and everyone of us felt. Although it may not be ideal for us to single out holidays for family get togethers, sometimes it just happens to work out that way. I know that no matter what the occasion, it is always great to see loved ones. And I would Genuinely like to wish you all a Merry Christmas From my family to yours.
Christmas isn't all about who got what, but more of how loved each and everyone of us felt. Although it may not be ideal for us to single out holidays for family get togethers, sometimes it just happens to work out that way. I know that no matter what the occasion, it is always great to see loved ones. And I would Genuinely like to wish you all a Merry Christmas From my family to yours.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
All About Beauty 1on1 Fashion
Hey Beauties,
I just wanted to let you know all know that I now have a site dedicated to everything fashion. So now instead of rummaging through all of the other post you can go straight to the fashion site and get outfit ideas and learn the latest trends. I hope that you all are as happy as I am about this new venture.The link is www.allaboutbeauty1on1fashion.blogspot.com And i hope you all will love it just as much as I already do.
Yours Truly, Bittanyalissa
I just wanted to let you know all know that I now have a site dedicated to everything fashion. So now instead of rummaging through all of the other post you can go straight to the fashion site and get outfit ideas and learn the latest trends. I hope that you all are as happy as I am about this new venture.The link is www.allaboutbeauty1on1fashion.blogspot.com And i hope you all will love it just as much as I already do.
Yours Truly, Bittanyalissa
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Harassment is never ok
Hey Beauties,
I'm gonna need your help.
I am being harassed by my Ex boyfriend and his friends one in particular. They have been writing anonymously on my blog and I want it to stop. Late last night I contacted the NYPD to investigate the crime that is being committed. I've also contacted Google and informed them of the situation. Today I will also be contacting my lawyer because what is being done is both unjust and childish and I will NOT stand for it. My blog allows me the freedom to speak about certain topics as long as specific names aren't involved and NO the blog post don't have anyone's specific information on it. The messages that are being written are about my children, and my character both of which I will fight till the death to protect. So what I need from all of you beauties is to email me whenever something is posted. I am keeping a paper trail of every comment as well as every single post. This is a form of Bullying and people are dying everyday because of it. Again Harassment is a CRIME so lets all work together to make it stop!! Up until today I repeat NO ONE specifically was named in any post so I don't understand why anyone is taking offense to it. But when my name and my children are being slandered we now have a problem. THANK YOU in advance beauties I look forward to putting an end to this as quickly as possible!
I'm gonna need your help.
I am being harassed by my Ex boyfriend and his friends one in particular. They have been writing anonymously on my blog and I want it to stop. Late last night I contacted the NYPD to investigate the crime that is being committed. I've also contacted Google and informed them of the situation. Today I will also be contacting my lawyer because what is being done is both unjust and childish and I will NOT stand for it. My blog allows me the freedom to speak about certain topics as long as specific names aren't involved and NO the blog post don't have anyone's specific information on it. The messages that are being written are about my children, and my character both of which I will fight till the death to protect. So what I need from all of you beauties is to email me whenever something is posted. I am keeping a paper trail of every comment as well as every single post. This is a form of Bullying and people are dying everyday because of it. Again Harassment is a CRIME so lets all work together to make it stop!! Up until today I repeat NO ONE specifically was named in any post so I don't understand why anyone is taking offense to it. But when my name and my children are being slandered we now have a problem. THANK YOU in advance beauties I look forward to putting an end to this as quickly as possible!
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Full head weave
Hey Beauties,
I just recently did a full head weave using Bronx hair supply. I hope you all find this video helpful... Enjoy
I just recently did a full head weave using Bronx hair supply. I hope you all find this video helpful... Enjoy
XOXO Brittanyalissa
Summer dress OOTD
Hey Beauties,
I am so very happy that summer is finally here! This is the time of year that families cookout, go to the beach, and pretty much spend a lot of quality time together. What makes this season even better is the fact that us Beauties get to put on our prettiest dresses and nice sandals and finally feel free of all the bulky clothes and Jackets that are associated with other seasons. So here is one of my Outfit choices for this beautiful weather! I hope you all enjoy
I am so very happy that summer is finally here! This is the time of year that families cookout, go to the beach, and pretty much spend a lot of quality time together. What makes this season even better is the fact that us Beauties get to put on our prettiest dresses and nice sandals and finally feel free of all the bulky clothes and Jackets that are associated with other seasons. So here is one of my Outfit choices for this beautiful weather! I hope you all enjoy
XOXO Brittanyalissa
4th of July Sisters OOTD
Hey Beauties,
First let me start off by saying that I hope everyone had a safe and happy 4th. Next my sister and I decided to do a sisters OOTD. It was really fun and I felt great that I actually got her on camera doing something other than just hair videos. I hope you all enjoy it just as much as we did!
Hey Beauties,
I am happy to announce that Allaboutbeauty1on1 now has an Instagram. Fell free to check it out and follow it's page. And for future appts you can email me at Brittanyalissa821@gmail.com
I am happy to announce that Allaboutbeauty1on1 now has an Instagram. Fell free to check it out and follow it's page. And for future appts you can email me at Brittanyalissa821@gmail.com
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Sally Hansen Airbrush legs
XOXO BrittanyAlissa
Weaves for all types of hair
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Custom Wigs
Hey Beauties,
I am so proud to announce that All about beauty 1on1 will be selling wigs in the next upcoming months on the website. I will be posting a video of a custom wig that I just completed and if you guys are interested in having one made feel free to send me and email. XOXO Brittanyalissa
Jcp Haul
Hey Beauties,
I went to JCP and did a little shopping, I am so happy with all the items that I purchased and I'm even more excited that I get to share them with all of you.. I hope you all enjoy...
XOXO Brittanyalissa
XOXO Brittanyalissa
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Expectations in a relationship
Hey Beauties,
So I am back with another post. This one just happened to pop in my mind not to long ago and I wanted to just share it with all of you.
Knowing what you want and expressing it to your partner
I know that this particular topic can also apply to other things in life but the way that I'm going to talk about it is exclusively in the form of relationships.
I truly feel that if a person is not doing or contributing to what you want or need in a relationship then you SHOULD walk away. Should being the operative word in that sentence simply because not everyone can differentiate between the whole want and need aspect of a relationship.
I was never one for following the whole honey moon faze, I feel that if you are yourself then the person has a right to decide wether or not they want to be with you. Being phony or fake doesn't allow the person trying to get to know you; see the true you! And in the end can be crucial in determining the rest of that "relationship". It should also be in that beginning faze that your wants and needs are addressed. Always remember that COMMUNICATION is the key.
I.E: If you want flowers every week then that should be said, and If you know that you need attention then that should also be stated.
The reason behind all of this is to eliminate the amount of time being wasted. If I am getting to know someone and they lay all of their cards on the table and I genuinely feel that what their asking for is beyond what I am capable of, then I can then be honest and allow them to find someone who is both willing and able to give them exactly what their looking for.
I'm going to list some topics that come up in everyday relationships that should be both expressed and laid out on the table in order to either move forward or walk away.
NEW relationships
#1- Whether or not you are already involved- This SHOULD be important although it sometimes falls through the cracks of what someone people consider to be"Important".
The reason why this should be addressed during the earlier stages is simply because it allows the person getting involved know whether or not the other party is in it for the long haul or if "that"situation is going to be just a fling. For example if I am looking for a relationship and the guy is already in one then I know that he can not give me what I'm looking for.
It is extremely hard to try to enter into a relationship with a bunch of skeletons lying around. The person is going to notice if you were being honest or not because things will not be the way that should be. Phone calls will cease to exist and spending time will find its way to the back burner. It truly makes no sense to lead another person on. Playing with someones emotions is never Ok...
#2- What are your expectations entering that "Relationship" - The reason behind this is simple. It avoids wasted time. If I know that I'm not looking for a serious relationship then it makes no sense to pretend that I am. This can also be applied to how that relationship will function.. Always remember that honesty is the best medicine and it allows the involved parties to either stay of walk away.
#3- Sex- Ok so this topic comes up all the time whether your a virgin or already sexual active. If sex is the main goal in that situation then it should be addressed ASAP. It makes absolutely no sense to sit around and expect a serious commitment if you were already informed about whats going on. Thats why it is truly a great idea to make it known what you expect. It's nothing wrong with wanting or committing to a fling, just make sure that both parties are on the same page.
Now i'm going to break down how those same topics apply for
OLDER relationships
#1- You can switch question #1 around and get this for older couples. ARE YOU NOW INVOLVED WITH ANYONE BUT ME- It is a known fact that people cheat. It doesn't matter if the topic was addressed before or not it still can happen. Now if it happens it should be brought up. It's not fair to keep something so drastic from the person your with. Allow them the right to get over it or to move on and get over the hurt.
#2 -What are your expectations entering that "Relationship"- Just because you set expectations doesn't mean that the person you fall in love with will be able to truly fulfill all of them. At that point it is up to you to decided what you can tolerate and what you can't.
#3- Sex- I love this topic.
Where do I begin? Ok so if you and your partner are sexually active then this topic should always be addressed. How is your partner going to know what you like if it isn't discussed? You can't assume that they are either going to like, or perform the what and how you want them to. Getting comfortable may be the #1 reason why certain things aren't talked about. Sex can get boring rather quickly, so make sure to keep the other person informed of you your wants and needs.
Another simple thing that applies to both OLD and NEW relationships is consistency.
If the relationship is great then there's no reason why it can't remain that way. YES I am aware that debates and arguments happen, no 2 people will agree on everything. Every person is different and that in itself makes trying to be involved with another person difficult. But with communication comes forgiveness. All I mean by consistency is to try your hardest to keep the normal things normal.
I.E: If there are text 3xs a day then keep it that way. Sometimes change brings about insecurities. And if there is a set date night twice a week then there should be an attempt to ensure that it stays that way. The only way things should change is if it is communicated and everyone is on the same page. This will insure that no one is left out and the relationship can function without and glitches. It isn't realistic to have everything the same exact way all of the time but just make sure that it is addressed in enough time to avoid things from becoming strained.
I hope you all enjoyed this post and found it helpful.
XOXO Brittanyalissa
So I am back with another post. This one just happened to pop in my mind not to long ago and I wanted to just share it with all of you.
Knowing what you want and expressing it to your partner
I know that this particular topic can also apply to other things in life but the way that I'm going to talk about it is exclusively in the form of relationships.
I truly feel that if a person is not doing or contributing to what you want or need in a relationship then you SHOULD walk away. Should being the operative word in that sentence simply because not everyone can differentiate between the whole want and need aspect of a relationship.
I was never one for following the whole honey moon faze, I feel that if you are yourself then the person has a right to decide wether or not they want to be with you. Being phony or fake doesn't allow the person trying to get to know you; see the true you! And in the end can be crucial in determining the rest of that "relationship". It should also be in that beginning faze that your wants and needs are addressed. Always remember that COMMUNICATION is the key.
I.E: If you want flowers every week then that should be said, and If you know that you need attention then that should also be stated.
The reason behind all of this is to eliminate the amount of time being wasted. If I am getting to know someone and they lay all of their cards on the table and I genuinely feel that what their asking for is beyond what I am capable of, then I can then be honest and allow them to find someone who is both willing and able to give them exactly what their looking for.
I'm going to list some topics that come up in everyday relationships that should be both expressed and laid out on the table in order to either move forward or walk away.
NEW relationships
#1- Whether or not you are already involved- This SHOULD be important although it sometimes falls through the cracks of what someone people consider to be"Important".
The reason why this should be addressed during the earlier stages is simply because it allows the person getting involved know whether or not the other party is in it for the long haul or if "that"situation is going to be just a fling. For example if I am looking for a relationship and the guy is already in one then I know that he can not give me what I'm looking for.
It is extremely hard to try to enter into a relationship with a bunch of skeletons lying around. The person is going to notice if you were being honest or not because things will not be the way that should be. Phone calls will cease to exist and spending time will find its way to the back burner. It truly makes no sense to lead another person on. Playing with someones emotions is never Ok...
#2- What are your expectations entering that "Relationship" - The reason behind this is simple. It avoids wasted time. If I know that I'm not looking for a serious relationship then it makes no sense to pretend that I am. This can also be applied to how that relationship will function.. Always remember that honesty is the best medicine and it allows the involved parties to either stay of walk away.
#3- Sex- Ok so this topic comes up all the time whether your a virgin or already sexual active. If sex is the main goal in that situation then it should be addressed ASAP. It makes absolutely no sense to sit around and expect a serious commitment if you were already informed about whats going on. Thats why it is truly a great idea to make it known what you expect. It's nothing wrong with wanting or committing to a fling, just make sure that both parties are on the same page.
Now i'm going to break down how those same topics apply for
OLDER relationships
#1- You can switch question #1 around and get this for older couples. ARE YOU NOW INVOLVED WITH ANYONE BUT ME- It is a known fact that people cheat. It doesn't matter if the topic was addressed before or not it still can happen. Now if it happens it should be brought up. It's not fair to keep something so drastic from the person your with. Allow them the right to get over it or to move on and get over the hurt.
#2 -What are your expectations entering that "Relationship"- Just because you set expectations doesn't mean that the person you fall in love with will be able to truly fulfill all of them. At that point it is up to you to decided what you can tolerate and what you can't.
#3- Sex- I love this topic.
Where do I begin? Ok so if you and your partner are sexually active then this topic should always be addressed. How is your partner going to know what you like if it isn't discussed? You can't assume that they are either going to like, or perform the what and how you want them to. Getting comfortable may be the #1 reason why certain things aren't talked about. Sex can get boring rather quickly, so make sure to keep the other person informed of you your wants and needs.
Another simple thing that applies to both OLD and NEW relationships is consistency.
If the relationship is great then there's no reason why it can't remain that way. YES I am aware that debates and arguments happen, no 2 people will agree on everything. Every person is different and that in itself makes trying to be involved with another person difficult. But with communication comes forgiveness. All I mean by consistency is to try your hardest to keep the normal things normal.
I.E: If there are text 3xs a day then keep it that way. Sometimes change brings about insecurities. And if there is a set date night twice a week then there should be an attempt to ensure that it stays that way. The only way things should change is if it is communicated and everyone is on the same page. This will insure that no one is left out and the relationship can function without and glitches. It isn't realistic to have everything the same exact way all of the time but just make sure that it is addressed in enough time to avoid things from becoming strained.
I hope you all enjoyed this post and found it helpful.
XOXO Brittanyalissa
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