Patterns in Relationships

Hey Beauties,
                So you all should know by now that if something relationship affiliated pops into my brain I have to come here and type away, so here goes.
Have you ever had this one person in your life that you ran back to despite all the heartache involved?
We'll if you haven't I have and I would like to share exactly what the experience has taught me.
The saying love has no limits is true to a fault. But love should have limits, and when you don't set boundaries you set yourself up for complete failure. We as humans adapt to our surroundings, we allow things to continue even when we know in our heart of hearts that we should just walk away. And why you may ask...
The answer is for fear of starting over.
Why leave a comfortable situation for the unknown?
The problem with this theory is that once patterns develop they become heard to break. The definition of insanity is doing things over and over again expecting to gain different results. So how can you expect the tears to stop, when you aren't doing anything to stop them from falling? I'll speak from experience and say that I stayed because I was in love. I cried thinking that the tears would soon turn into a life long smile. But what I didn't understand was that if it was meant to work it would have worked from the beginning. People change when they are ready and honestly there isn't any true way to know for sure if any changes will be made. We as people stay because we become hopeful. We put it in our minds that things will work out no matter how hard they were before. And once we hear what we want we almost always run back with open arms. I got so wrapped up in changing myself that I hadn't paid any attention to the other persons lack of progress. But it wasn't all their fault. I had fallen into the pattern of running away without ever truly expressing what the core of the problem was. I was expecting this person to change when I never stated the problem. Perhaps if I had opened up the lines of communication and expressed my unhappiness from the door, we would have never had a failed relationship to begin with.....
Now with that being said, there is also a flip side to that coin.
You may express your unhappiness and still never see change. Like I stated before, people only change when they are ready. So if that other person isn't ready, the unhappiness will remain.
This is why they are called patterns...........
We get hurt, we leave, we come back we cry and then do it all over again. But always remember that love isn't a one way street. But you can love someone completely and never have that love returned. That's just the risk we take in relationships.....
Its just so sad that we continue to stay knowing that there is a big possibility we'll be hurt again! There has to be a stop sign, a red flag , or a smoke signal that comes up when we are repeating this cycle..... Right? Wrong!
But when you finally become tired of the pattern, or the reoccurring cycle, your heart will allow you the
peace needed to walk away!

Why The Need For Sex?

Hey Beauties,
                      So I've had an epiphany, and I'd like to share it with all of you.
We live in a world where no one really takes dating seriously anymore. Now a days dating pretty much =SEX and us women and men all fall victim. Well as I was sitting here thinking of what to write, my mind kept coming back to relationships and what "I" want to do differently in my own life.
For those of us who read the bible we know that fornication is frowned upon, so if we know this, why do we do it? I really hate to post anything from a religious stand point so I'm going to wrap up this angle by asking this one last question. How can we have a blessed relationship if we aren't living the way we are told to from the bible? I will speak for myself and say this, I have NEVER had a successful relationship and I'm now wondering is it because that every relationship I've had, has had sex somewhere in it? I now want to test this theory and see, could I possibly get the man that I want forever by not sleeping with him until we are married. I've always considered myself to be a hopeless romantic, but yet I've never really had romance. I'm always the one lighting candles, making dinner, and giving massages. But the harsh reality was always that I did those things hoping to get a ring out of the deal. I have now truly excepted the phrase "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"? If I'm giving this guy sex, dinner, massages and taking care of him as only a wife should, then why would he want to make me his wife for real. He doesn't have to strive to get those things because I'm already giving them willingly so then where does the drive to marry me fit in?
Have you guys ever thought about what happens when sex is taken off the plate?
We preach everyday about the 4 key values to having a successful relationship
1.Communication
2. Respect
3. Trust
4. Honesty
But the fact remains that more than half of us have had or now has a relationship that lacks in almost all of these things and I can't help but wonder is it because we are being sexual intimate?
Perhaps if we removed sex we would have exactly what we know we should have.
Think about it, if there was no sex Communication would take the leading role in our lives. We would be talking more instead of screwing rather than screwing and having nothing to talk about. I know that I want to marry my best friend and most of the men I've been intimate with couldn't even be one of my associates.......... So then why was I sleeping with them?
What's the greatest gift you can give to your husband on your wedding night? The answer is "You"
All of you! If you are already giving "you" there is nothing left. And I honestly believe that; that's where we fail. We can't keep pointing the finger blaming each other for our failed relationships when in reality we should be looking in the mirror.
What happened to the days when men courted women?
What happened to the days when we sat up all night talking on the phone? And the days we got
picked up and dropped off at our doors? No! Doesn't anyone miss those things?
I miss those things.
I am making a vow to myself. I will have those things, and how I will go about getting them, is by keeping my legs closed. I deserve to be courted just like I deserve to be some great mans wife.
You can learn someone in they're entirety within the 1st few months and by then you should be able to distinguish if they are worth keeping around or not without sex getting in the mix. Just think, if they weren't meant for you then walking away will be a piece of cake, and if they are then what's waiting until marriage? I've failed before doing things the other way, and I owe it to myself to give this way a try....
Thanks for reading and I hope you all found this post helpful....
                                                                                               Brittanyalissa

SPRING

Hey Beauties,
        So spring is in the air and usually all this means is that your clothing choices change, your mood may be a little different, and people seem a bit happier.
Well I'm going to share with you a few things that come to my mind when I think about Spring.
#1. The whether means that I can officially start dressing prettier. ( Theres something about layers of clothes that just make me feel yucky.)
#2. Six flags great adventures opens up for Spring break and then every weekend there after up until the summer time.
#3. Spring cleaning is always something that I look forward to. I love switching out the clothes in my draws and making room for all the latest Spring fashions, and I definitely love being able to change the curtains and bedding in my apartment.
#4. Shopping………. I say this not because I am a shopping addict, even though I am.. But I say it because when its cold outside shopping really isn't that fun. I mean having a ton of clothes on and walking around feeling like you've doubled in size……. Yea not really to fun.
#5. For some strange reason, to me Spring feels like love……… Having the person you love near by being able to hold hands with light jackets, eating ice cream in the park…. Yea that just feels so right.
                 So now that you all know what Spring means to me, I would like to know what it means to all of you..
Until next time Beauties :-)