Our Picture Perfect Day

Hey Beauties,
                   So I am so happy to announce that I have a new last name.. LOL
I'm actually still getting used to saying that, but what I really wanted to come on here to talk about is "THE DAY"... or rather "OUR DAY"

A WEEK BEFORE.......

Leading up to Oct 3rd my then fiancé and I had been checking the weather like crazy people and this was simply because "who wants a rainy wedding"? But mostly because our big day would be taking place in Central Park and rain would have really put everything to a halt. The weather channel app had stated that it would drizzle which wasn't something either of us had anticipated. Like at all. We thought that it would just be a great day, forgetting that anything could be possible.. But within the next following days the weather had miraculously changed.. And kept changing.. And kept changing.. I think the weather changed about a million times before that Friday came. The night before our wedding I looked at the weather one last time and it said 66 and cloudy which to me meant cold and dreary but honestly nothing was going to keep me from marrying the man of my dreams so I went to sleep with the idea in mind that the show must go on......


THE BIG DAY..............

Waking up the morning of Oct 3rd felt surreal, whereas some people get cold feet I got Numb..
Numb because no emotion in this world could describe what I was feeling besides that.. My mind was going 1000 miles per minute but one thing I did know for sure was that I WAS READY....
I had kissed so many frogs in the past and deep in my heart I had no doubts that I had found my prince.
So I rolled out of bed and stepped outside to see just what type of day the weather had settled on, and to my surprise it was PERFECT..
The sun was shinning bright and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and although it was a bit chilly; it wasn't cold.
My mind had already been made up that I was not going to rush, so I re-entered the house, jumped in the shower and took my time doing my hair and makeup.... I ENDED BEING LATE TO MY OWN WEDDING but it was all worth it.

The drive to the park that day felt like it took forever, I wish I had a private jet because I just couldn't get there fast enough. But when I did get there it was nothing short of MAGICAL...
To best describe it would be to compare it to Carrie from Sex and the City. The scene in the movie where she's trying on wedding dresses and the camera's are flashing from all over the place..  Because that day all of the tourist around the park were taking pictures.. (I'm sure I'm on some strangers Instagram).. LOL
Well to bring this story to an end,
I walked arm in arm with my father in law up to the Cop Cot location and there my husband stood dressed for the Gods, reminding me of one of the many reasons I was marrying him in the 1st place
(JK)... But honestly it was truly MAGICAL...
We exchanged personal vows and had our 1st official kiss as husband and wife... BOY OH BOY.. Was it Magical! Oh and that 66 and cloudy weather report turned into 75 and sunny.. It was truly a PICTURE PERFECT DAY...

XOXO Brittanyalissa

Upcoming Wedding

Hey Beauties,
                   So I've been missing in action for a little while but I'm back to share some amazing news.
My fiancé and I will be getting Married on OCT 3rd 2014 in Central Park. We are keeping it as intimate as possible with just our closest family and friends.

I've been on here talking a lot about relationships and clearly hiding my own. (Sorry) I guess I just wasn't ready to allow the world in on all the changes being made in my life until I was 100% sure. AND NOW I AM...
I have found the guy of my dreams we finish each others sentences, laugh at the silliest things and stay up late just talking about life and honestly I couldn't be happier. ( I guess EHARMONY really works).... LOL
All the details from the wedding are complete and now we are just awaiting our special day. BOY oh BOY what difference a few months make. One thing I have definitely learned is that planning a wedding is hard work, even something as intimate as the one we are having. But I'm sure it will turn out just the way its suppose to.




Oh and one last small detail.......

WE ARE EXPECTING :-)
Here Is the video if you all are interested.

XOXO BrittanyAlissa

One Big Cliche

Hey Beauties,
                   So I literally just walked through the front door of my apartment and the one place I just had to come was here.  I have been writing a lot about relationships lately and I think most of it has to do with the growth I've made within myself due to some new experiences. To say that life for me is different sounds like One Big Cliche but it completely sum's up everything that has been going on. I have admitted to looking at life through foggy glasses once before but with this new found peace of mind that is no longer the case. Life will give you just what you need when you least expect it and all your suppose to do its just absorb it without asking any questions. Its like, excepting that nothing in life is guaranteed but still being willing to ride out all the waves until you get to shore. I no longer want to assume that the worst is right around the corner. But instead I want to be that girl, that woman who allows life to happen naturally. Ready Set Go...

P.s just because I always look out for you beauties I'm going to bless you all with a few photos from my birthday featuring D.

When it feels right go for it. -Brittanyalissa

XOXO BrittanyAlissa

TO RUN OR NOT TO RUN

Hey Beauties,
                   So this blog is really turning out to be mainly about relationships and I don't truly know how I feel about it. Although I love relationships, and being able to give my input on them I am not an expert and my opinions are just that (OPINIONS) so please don't take my words as LAW....
Now without further ado this post is about "Running away from relationships" and why people do it.
  I have been known for running from situations that have gotten to serious. I've ran from fear of getting hurt, fear of things turning right, and overall fear of myself. Wearing your heart on your sleeve isn't always the most settling feeling. Its actually quite frightening. But the funniest thing about any of this is that I run in the most backwards situations ever. For instance,
If things are not so good I stay, and when things are amazing I run. 0_o
Like WTH.
So for the past year I just decided to quit running altogether. And lets just say that although a little optimism goes a long way,,,,,,,,, allowing yourself to be vulnerable sucks donkey nuts. (BLAH,BLAH, BLAH BLAH,BLAH)
So what does any of this mean?
Can it be fixed?
Will I ever find love?
Does love exist?
So let me say this, I DON'T HAVE THE ANSWERS TO ANY OF THOSE QUESTIONS.
But I do know that when you love someone and I mean butterflies, sleepless nights, whole day thrown off type of love, then maybe its OK to ride out the waves and see where that love will take you. Your heart feels what it feels and wants what it wants even when your mind is not in agreeance.
I have learned that people tend to sabotage things and situations out of fear. And sabotage is the same thing as running altogether.
Just because "You" aren't technically putting feet to pavement doesn't eliminate the fact that you are forcing the other person to find reasons to pick apart the relationship, therefore resulting in "running".
What happened to the days when people weren't afraid of love and excepted it in its entirety?
I'll tell you what I think happened. I think that over the course of your life's existence you find that one person who changes your life and allows you to "love" and when things go wrong within that particular relationship the hurt that remains is also accompanied by this "void'. And out of fear of ever feeling that hurt again you tend to build this invisible wall that protects your heart. Now from experience I can admit to knowing this to be a fact, but hurting someone else (Unintentionally) doesn't make it right. I can't say whether having a road block up is the best medicine because again I have been known to do it, but I will say this
I will rather spend my days hurting over what I know; than my nights pondering about what I don't.
what I mean by that is this, I would much rather iron out the problems that come with a relationship, than to run away and never know if that person and myself were ever going to work out despite all of the effort.
In closing I will say that admitting to love may be the hardest thing ever to some people. And its totally OK.. But hurting that person out of fear of getting hurt yourself (is not).
You have to understand that not everyone is going to "get it" so you risk losing something that can either be the greatest thing or the worst situation ever all because of fear. NOT KNOWING IS SCARY, BUT WE WAKE UP EVERY MORNING NOT KNOWING SO WHY do we think there should be a difference when it comes to love? Feeling LOVE within your heart and walking away from it is pretty silly! The whole point of running is to avoid getting hurt isn't it? But wouldn't you still feel hurt from loving someone and either pushing or allowing them to walk out of your life? Is that not a bit cliche? Or is RUNNING much easier than actually staying and not knowing?
                                                            My THOUGHTS
I would much rather LOVE and feel, than to not. I have done my share of regretting. And walking away from someone who has my heart would leave nothing but regret.
My heart will mend if it gets broken, but I refuse to break my own heart out of fear of having anyone else break it.
So the QUESTION IS
To Run or Not to Run? I'm interested in hearing your fed back. :-)

XOXO BrittanyAlissa

Brittany Alissa B

Hey Beauties,
                    So after a few years of having this and many other sites, I felt that it was finally necessary to speak solely about myself (for at least one post anyway). So here goes.
I have always considered myself to be this hopeless romantic, down to earth, fun loving, free spirit.  My childhood wasn't easy and I lived a relatively hard life, but I've always saw light at the end of the tunnel. And my glass has always been half empty..
Now with that being said I must admit that when you continuously get kicked to the ground you start to wonder if your truly meant to stay there.. At 26 years old I have seen and been through some things that people would never imagine, but from the outside looking in, how could you?
Because of my childhood I developed what some would call a "DADDY COMPLEX". For those of you who don't know what this is I will sum it up in a nutshell. A daddy complex is when a female who's father was rarely around seeks men to feel the void his absence left. (Usually men much older than herself.)
This "complex" has caused me to deal and put up with things that a normal person would never, just because I yearn so deeply for love.
I have this idea that LOVE, True Love exist and I just want a taste of what it really feels like. And this is where my "Hopeless Romantic" theory comes in to play.
I tend to date men I shouldn't, and when I say shouldn't I mean the commitment phobe, the pot head, the womanizer, the abuser, and the cheats........
What initially happens is that I go into each situation with 100% optimism and then when things go wrong I'm left broken hearted, but the reality of it has always been that I knew deep down in my heart that those situations were never going to work.
I've always felt that if I gave massages, cooked dinner, lite candles, played slow jams and was 100% honest that one of those men would take notice and eventually show appreciation for it.. For ME..
BOY WAS I WRONG!
But even then It wasn't until last night that the light at the end of the tunnel became really dim to me. Don't get me wrong; I still believe love exist, I'm just not so sure that I will find it.
Each time I feel as though I'm getting close, something happens that brings me back down to reality. And to say that I'm over it would be an understatement.. I've always thought that men wanted independent woman, who cooked, cleaned, and thought the world of them. But its clear that I'm a little off.. And I know I'm definitely not high maintenance because I care more about the simple things than I do the big ones. I would prefer respect than gifts. Laughter than arguments, cooking meals together indoors than going out to eat, family time over bar time and honesty over a lie. But even with all of that I haven't had that one man who has proven to me that Love is worth searching or fighting for. I envision myself marrying my best friend. A man who has just the right amount of sarcasm, a great sense of humor, very level headed, a great communicator and someone who cares just as much about family as I do.. Maybe that just doesn't exist anymore.

Here is a list of 10 things a man can do make/keep me happy

1. Respect me- I don't like the word Bitch, and I don't feel a man should call his woman or any woman out her name.
2. Be honest- If I do or say something that is a little left, let me know so I can work on it & tell me the truth even when your sparing my feelings. I can deal with the truth much easier than a lie. (Once the trust is gone so am I.)
3. Flowers- I LOVE flowers, like love them.....
4. Allow me to be me- I know that I have flaws, but we all do!
5. Romance- The most romantic thing to me is someone who will run a bath or give me a massage.
6. Quality time- Now this is here because people don't seem to know the difference between time and quality time. Having one on one time just relaxing at home or away allows both people to grow closer to each other.
7. Rules- Please Please don't come to me with a journal or mind full of crap that you have to live by. Every person is different therefore every situation is different. So those rules may not work with everyone you get with!!!!!!!!!!!!
8. Affection- I need this. I just love the whole touchy feely stuff.
9. Attention- This one isn't that big of a deal but is sometimes necessary. If we are together show me you care, its just that simple.
10. Be a MAN- I shouldn't have to tell you, show you or direct you how to treat me. It should come naturally. If I'm good to you just feed off of that and give it back.

I don't know if I'm ever going to find my "Happily ever after" but I still hold on to a tiny piece of hope. Because I refuse to believe that I can't have it ALL.

 XOXO BrittanyAlissaB.

What Is DATING???

Hey Beauties,
                   So let me 1st start off by saying that I hope everyone is having an amazing summer.
Now with that being said I want to jump into today's topic.
                                                                         "DATING"
The other day I was with a group of friends and the conversation of dating and relationships kept coming up. As you can imagine this topic is so "Normal" that everyone seems to be having it on a day to day basis. But what got me to writing about it; is the specific question that kept being asked.     "WHAT IS DATING"?
So it seems that just because we all talk about it, doesn't mean we know or understand exactly what it means so here is a look at it from my point of view...
Dating 1on1... ( I actually like the sound of that ).. HMMMM... LOL but back to regular scheduled programming.
Dating to me is the space between full on commitment and friendship.
To date doesn't mean to sleep with or get attached, but simply two people going out enjoying each others company.
The problem that a lot of people seem to be having is that they don't DATE 1st, instead they jump into these serious relationships and wonder why after a few months it all goes down hill.
IE: I don't consider going to someones house for a day; a date. A date to me is both parties agreeing on a destination (BEFORE HAND), scheduling it, and going through with it.
Whether you guys meet at the destination or he/she picks you up doesn't really mater, all that matters is that the date is happening which allows each of you to get to know the other that much better..
Here is a list of 3 good dates and 3 horrible dates

Good 
1. A restaurant- The reason why this is a good date is because although at times it may be a bit noisy, it allows both parties to make eye contact which makes conversing that much easier.

2. Bowling- This shows how competitive your future partner can be and it also shows whether or not the person has a great sense of humor.

3. Ice cream in the park- Communication is key to any successful relationship/friendship, and what better place to talk 1on1 than at a park?

Bad
1. The Movies- How can you talk with a person you just met at the movies? For 2-3 hours your sitting in complete silence which means your no closer to knowing this person than before you met. (What a waste)

2. A CLUB- Umm like seriously.. Have you ever tried to hold a conversation over loud music? Well I have and I was hoarse the next day. Theres just something about screaming at each other all night that just isn't all that great.

3. A Strip Club- Sooooo .....Ummmmmm........ Wellll.......
Would you be comfortable with your date talking you to a place that nudity is front and center?

NOW although those good and bad date ideas are on these list does not mean that once you have been dating over a course of time that they can't become good options. (It truly depends on the people, chemistry and situation.)
And trust me I have done most of the do's and don'ts, but the art of it all is learning from each and every situation...........................................
Once you feel comfortable enough and have spent some time together the conversation of whether to start a relationship or to be friends should be brought up. Especially if a relationship was the goal from the gate. There is nothing worse than wanting someone exclusively and not know where you stand!!

So to sum all of this stuff up
Dating: Is getting to know someone before putting a title such as boyfriend or girlfriend on the situation.
It allows you to be open, and upfront about things most people won't. It also allows both parties the option of walking away before the whole relationship thing starts, therefore preventing hearts from getting broken and feelings from getting hurt.
                                       Questions from my actual talk with friends
1. How long should you date before starting a relationship? It is up to the individuals but for me I know after 3 dates if I want a person exclusively.
2. Can you have sex during this time? Again it depends on the people. But sex builds more emotion and if it doesn't turn into a committed relationship, someone can end up getting emotionally hurt. (So Be Careful!)
3. Can you date more than one person at a time? Honestly I don't do this, but again some people do.
4. What happens if you catch feeling while still in the dating phase? Feelings happen, and if it does then that's more of a reason to start a relationship.

I hope you all found this helpful. Leave your comments below giving me your point of views.

XOXO BrittanyAlissa

SINGLE IN NEW YORK

Hey Beauties,
         I will be uploading a more detailed video about this post but for now I will put it in words.
So a few post ago I stated that I was going through a lot and that I would touch base on it at a later date, well here is that later date.
Sooooooo For those of you who don't know, I am a New Yorker. Although my parents are both from other places, I was born and raised here. And although I have a love hate relationship with this beautiful city, I have pure HATRED for the dating scene.
I work hard to provide for my children, and working hard = playing less. Therefore my dating life sucked. So little ole me signed up on this little site called Plenty Of Fish or (POF). It was a free site where men can hound women and the women can "sell things" O_o
It truly wasn't the place for someone like me. Someone genuinely looking for love.
After about a year I did happen to meet someone. We started off speaking on the phone for 3 months straight, then graduated to spending loads of time together. Optimistically after about 8 months I ended up convincing myself that he was "The One" we had so much in common and I fell in love with his family and I guess being around someone so much you eventually catch feelings more rapidly than usual!  Welp Long story short (the hounding for women never stopped for him) and I was left heart broken.  After encountering my share of morons I eventually decided to be delete my profile in its entirety. I then took some time for healing and recollection. And I remember sitting at home one day watching television and these damn commercials kept coming on......
Well needless to say that after PLENTY and PLENTY OF "COMMERCIALS" I decided to join Eharmony.
Welp for those of you who have no knowledge of the site I will say this,
you are put through an extensive amount of questioning. Like eeexxxxttteeenssiivveeeee!!!!!
When you are asked so much about your life, your likes, and dislikes you become very...... Whats the words I'm looking for? The word is HOPEFUL. You become hopeful that maybe, just maybe true love is out there.  And before I go any further I will say this
I AM AN EXTREME HOPELESS ROMANTIC. I LOVE; LOVE, THE IDEA OF LOVE, AND THE FEELING OF ACTUALLY BEING IN LOVE!!.
Now back to regular scheduled programming.. :-)
I met someone my 2nd day on the site. And when I say met I mean conversed via "site" then graduated to phone calls/ texting.
It took 3 months to meet in person and I thought he was a rad dude..
We spoke about him opening doors, having respect for women, and overall just being this RAD guy...
...................... It took 6 months for me to see that NONE of that crap was the truth.
He was overly demanding, insecure, and a complete Asshole..I wasn't allowed to dress, walk or talk like myself I had to change everything while he told me that he needed to change absolutely nothing. But I stayed stupid me.. and eventually I got a nice ring.. A ring that he kept from his family and meant nothing because he stated that he wasn't even ready for marriage.. Again Asshole.. I left after we hit the 10 month mark.  Best thing I could of done for my sanity!! Thank you Jesus!! :-)
I took some time off And then started dating again.
and again
and again
and again...................................................................
I don't ask for much. I ask for open communication, honesty, respect and some more respect. But it seems that The Big Apple is full of people who have no idea, what they want.
Men and woman who would rather Have Sex than to open their hearts to the possibility of love.
Men who state they want relationships but wouldn't know one if it were staring them in the face.
I'm SOOOOOOOOO old school. I just want that "SILLY LOVE". The one where you know you'll get a Good Morning call, The one where holding hands in Central park is better than going to a bar for drinks, The one where I fall asleep at night and he's on my mind and I know I'm on his. The one where we make dinner together at home and watch Netflix. The one that isn't based upon finances but LOVE and pure RESPECT for one another. I never thought that I would ever give up on the possibility that I would find just what I'm looking for. But I have gone from 100 % - about 30%. And its unfortunate that SEX runs this CITY of dreams. And love has become so far fetched that everyone is just existing.. This journey Is exhausting! And I refuse to settle for anything other than what I deserve!!
If the guy I'm seeing has all these damn rules about
When to and when not to call
How long before feelings should be revealed
How long will I stick around before she puts out
My friends have to like her
She has to like sports
and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! then I will cross him out my life like a bad habit.
Relationships aren't built for rules. It should flow naturally. It should feel natural and a list is just so so so YUCK!
Get to know me for me. Make your decisions based on my heart, the time we spend together, and how I treat you, not on a "DAMN LIST".
I guess that's why I'm single because I just can't deal with the whole unnatural feel of this new dating system.. So Now I ask
How do
you fellow New Yorker cope with dating?
And how is dating elsewhere?

                                                                                                                               XOXO BrittanyAlissa

My Bulimia Update

Hey Beauties,
                    So it's time for an update about whats been going on in my life.
I made a recent video about bulimia and how it played a role in my life. And some of you have asked me for an update on that, so here goes. YES I am still suffering with it. Because of it I have lost a total of 20lbs in a little over a month, I went from 184 -164 which is my current weight now. My jean size was a 12/13 and now I am a size 8.
Even though these numbers look great to me, I am still obsessed with losing more and everyday is a constant battle to try and do it the right way... To be 100% honest with all of you, it gives me anxiety to regurgitate my food because I know that it is truly unhealthy and I'm afraid that I will die if it continues. I've been trying to incorporate as much food as I can, and simple talking to myself about how I need to keep it down. And when I do eat a little I tell myself its ok and then just run with my dog in my area.. AGAIN its a battle...
For those of you who didn't know, I was engaged to be married to the man I thought was truly going to be my husband. When the relationship started falling a part and then deteriorated I started becoming obsessed with looking my best and proving to myself that I deserved to be happy. (SILLY I KNOW) but being with someone for so long and giving your whole heart to them, only to then realize they aren't who you thought they were really takes a toll on you physically, mentally and emotionally. I won't talk about the other things that transpired within that relationship. But I will say this (when you already have an illness such as bulimia, it never really goes away, you just simply learn to cope and you become really good at hiding it. But it only takes a Word, a Phrase, or a Sentence to bring it right back). And unfortunately it came back within that particular relationship. NO I am not blaming anyone for this. I am an adult and I am in charge of my own life. But when you are unhappy you tend to find other ways to bring that happiness back and losing weight was that for me. AHHHHHH
Being this honest hurts to the core, and brings tears to my eyes. Putting this out there for the world  allows criticism and ignorance.. But I will always be as honest as possible in hopes that I can help someone else..........
*I am currently getting the help I need to overcome this. I will not allow this to be the death of me and I will not make excuses for it. Hopefully in the next few months I will be back to myself again. But for now I will continue to update you all at least once a month.* I really hope this can help someone out there seek the help they need. Thanks for reading.
                                                                                                 

XOXO BrittanyAlissa

My Favorite Park

Hey Beauties,
                     Let me 1st start off by saying that I hope you all had a wonderful and safe 4th of July.
There is just so much to update you on but i'll save that for a later date and time. So jumping into things...... Every year around the summer time I go to central park to relax, enjoy the view and also to take some pictures. My original plan was to go there on the 4th, but being that the weather was such a mess I just decided to go to the Marriot and lounge out by the pool instead....
Well yesterday I woke up in a rut and all I wanted to do was stay in bed with some ice cream and life time, but instead of feeling down I got myself together and took my butt to my favorite park. I have always enjoyed taking pictures by the Garden and running on the grass that ( People aren't allowed on). So I made it my duty to do just that.. LOL... But all in all it was a fun simple relaxing day. So tell me, How did you guys spend your weekend?

For More pictures and to find out what I'm wearing, be sure to check out my fashion blog at 

www.allaboutbeauty1on1fashion.com

Give Me Love

Hey Beauties,
                   So as the weeks have been passing by I've been trying to find new ways to cope or rather over come my eating disorder. One thing that I've been doing regularly is dancing. I dance for a number of reasons, the 1st one being its a good form of exercise, it clears your head from all the negative thoughts flowing through it, and it truly allows you to be free. The other day I heard a song that really hit home for me. The lyrics touched my soul and the only thing I wanted to do after hearing it was dance. So that's exactly what I did. On Saturday I decided to set up my camera and actually show what I call (Expressive dancing), I used to dance ballet when I was younger and although that was many years ago it hasn't left me completely. Here is the video of it. I hope you all truly enjoy it.

XOXO BrittanyAlissa

I Can Smell Summer

Hey Beauties,
                  So here in NY the weather has been so all over the place that we are literally in Jackets one day and shorts the next. But what has been keeping a smile on my face is the fact that I know Summer is right around the corner. Tomorrow is June 1st and that means the count down officially begins and boy I can't wait. Here are a few pictures of me out and about enjoying the weather so far.. :-)

I look forward to posting more wonderful weather pics and outings. Stay safe! XOXO BrittanyAlissa

BULIMIA AND ME, MY BATTLE

Hey Beauties,
                  So I've decided to allow myself to be free of this burden I've been carrying for the past few years. I've never opened up about my eating disorder before (only to family), mostly because I've always felt that I had complete control over it. In my mind there was no need to discuss something I thought wasn't that big of a deal! I guess that was my 1st mistake.
The 1st time I knew I had a serious problem was about 4 or 5 years ago. I was stick thin and so sick that the hospital became my second home. Everyone around me just assumed that I was just losing weight, no one knew that I was hiding something,  but the was reality was that I was screaming out for help….. Well years have passed since I was at the darkest place in my life, and I thought it was all behind me…
Unfortunately that isn't the case.. My eating disorder has come back in full force and everyday I find it even harder to cope with than the day before.. I know that I have a problem and I am determined to make this a thing of the past, just as I have done before! In my video I go more into details, so if your interested feel free to watch.

XOXO BrittanyAlissa

Patterns in Relationships

Hey Beauties,
                So you all should know by now that if something relationship affiliated pops into my brain I have to come here and type away, so here goes.
Have you ever had this one person in your life that you ran back to despite all the heartache involved?
We'll if you haven't I have and I would like to share exactly what the experience has taught me.
The saying love has no limits is true to a fault. But love should have limits, and when you don't set boundaries you set yourself up for complete failure. We as humans adapt to our surroundings, we allow things to continue even when we know in our heart of hearts that we should just walk away. And why you may ask...
The answer is for fear of starting over.
Why leave a comfortable situation for the unknown?
The problem with this theory is that once patterns develop they become heard to break. The definition of insanity is doing things over and over again expecting to gain different results. So how can you expect the tears to stop, when you aren't doing anything to stop them from falling? I'll speak from experience and say that I stayed because I was in love. I cried thinking that the tears would soon turn into a life long smile. But what I didn't understand was that if it was meant to work it would have worked from the beginning. People change when they are ready and honestly there isn't any true way to know for sure if any changes will be made. We as people stay because we become hopeful. We put it in our minds that things will work out no matter how hard they were before. And once we hear what we want we almost always run back with open arms. I got so wrapped up in changing myself that I hadn't paid any attention to the other persons lack of progress. But it wasn't all their fault. I had fallen into the pattern of running away without ever truly expressing what the core of the problem was. I was expecting this person to change when I never stated the problem. Perhaps if I had opened up the lines of communication and expressed my unhappiness from the door, we would have never had a failed relationship to begin with.....
Now with that being said, there is also a flip side to that coin.
You may express your unhappiness and still never see change. Like I stated before, people only change when they are ready. So if that other person isn't ready, the unhappiness will remain.
This is why they are called patterns...........
We get hurt, we leave, we come back we cry and then do it all over again. But always remember that love isn't a one way street. But you can love someone completely and never have that love returned. That's just the risk we take in relationships.....
Its just so sad that we continue to stay knowing that there is a big possibility we'll be hurt again! There has to be a stop sign, a red flag , or a smoke signal that comes up when we are repeating this cycle..... Right? Wrong!
But when you finally become tired of the pattern, or the reoccurring cycle, your heart will allow you the
peace needed to walk away!

Why The Need For Sex?

Hey Beauties,
                      So I've had an epiphany, and I'd like to share it with all of you.
We live in a world where no one really takes dating seriously anymore. Now a days dating pretty much =SEX and us women and men all fall victim. Well as I was sitting here thinking of what to write, my mind kept coming back to relationships and what "I" want to do differently in my own life.
For those of us who read the bible we know that fornication is frowned upon, so if we know this, why do we do it? I really hate to post anything from a religious stand point so I'm going to wrap up this angle by asking this one last question. How can we have a blessed relationship if we aren't living the way we are told to from the bible? I will speak for myself and say this, I have NEVER had a successful relationship and I'm now wondering is it because that every relationship I've had, has had sex somewhere in it? I now want to test this theory and see, could I possibly get the man that I want forever by not sleeping with him until we are married. I've always considered myself to be a hopeless romantic, but yet I've never really had romance. I'm always the one lighting candles, making dinner, and giving massages. But the harsh reality was always that I did those things hoping to get a ring out of the deal. I have now truly excepted the phrase "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"? If I'm giving this guy sex, dinner, massages and taking care of him as only a wife should, then why would he want to make me his wife for real. He doesn't have to strive to get those things because I'm already giving them willingly so then where does the drive to marry me fit in?
Have you guys ever thought about what happens when sex is taken off the plate?
We preach everyday about the 4 key values to having a successful relationship
1.Communication
2. Respect
3. Trust
4. Honesty
But the fact remains that more than half of us have had or now has a relationship that lacks in almost all of these things and I can't help but wonder is it because we are being sexual intimate?
Perhaps if we removed sex we would have exactly what we know we should have.
Think about it, if there was no sex Communication would take the leading role in our lives. We would be talking more instead of screwing rather than screwing and having nothing to talk about. I know that I want to marry my best friend and most of the men I've been intimate with couldn't even be one of my associates.......... So then why was I sleeping with them?
What's the greatest gift you can give to your husband on your wedding night? The answer is "You"
All of you! If you are already giving "you" there is nothing left. And I honestly believe that; that's where we fail. We can't keep pointing the finger blaming each other for our failed relationships when in reality we should be looking in the mirror.
What happened to the days when men courted women?
What happened to the days when we sat up all night talking on the phone? And the days we got
picked up and dropped off at our doors? No! Doesn't anyone miss those things?
I miss those things.
I am making a vow to myself. I will have those things, and how I will go about getting them, is by keeping my legs closed. I deserve to be courted just like I deserve to be some great mans wife.
You can learn someone in they're entirety within the 1st few months and by then you should be able to distinguish if they are worth keeping around or not without sex getting in the mix. Just think, if they weren't meant for you then walking away will be a piece of cake, and if they are then what's waiting until marriage? I've failed before doing things the other way, and I owe it to myself to give this way a try....
Thanks for reading and I hope you all found this post helpful....
                                                                                               Brittanyalissa

SPRING

Hey Beauties,
        So spring is in the air and usually all this means is that your clothing choices change, your mood may be a little different, and people seem a bit happier.
Well I'm going to share with you a few things that come to my mind when I think about Spring.
#1. The whether means that I can officially start dressing prettier. ( Theres something about layers of clothes that just make me feel yucky.)
#2. Six flags great adventures opens up for Spring break and then every weekend there after up until the summer time.
#3. Spring cleaning is always something that I look forward to. I love switching out the clothes in my draws and making room for all the latest Spring fashions, and I definitely love being able to change the curtains and bedding in my apartment.
#4. Shopping………. I say this not because I am a shopping addict, even though I am.. But I say it because when its cold outside shopping really isn't that fun. I mean having a ton of clothes on and walking around feeling like you've doubled in size……. Yea not really to fun.
#5. For some strange reason, to me Spring feels like love……… Having the person you love near by being able to hold hands with light jackets, eating ice cream in the park…. Yea that just feels so right.
                 So now that you all know what Spring means to me, I would like to know what it means to all of you..
Until next time Beauties :-)

A Fantasy Of Flowers By Mac

Hey Beauties,

                   If you have the opportunity to visit the Mac store I would highly recommend it. They have a new collection called "A Fantasy Of flowers" and the collection is truly to die for. I hope you all watch and enjoy this video…..
                            P.S--  People get affected with the Aids/HIV virus everyday and now we can make a small difference by going out to buy the Viva Glam Collection. Part of the proceeds go to the those people effected. What greater reason is there to shop?

"Janet Collection" Peruvian Natural Hair

Hey Beauties,

              So I just couldn't wait to get this new hair by "Janet Collection" and I'm so happy to share it with all of you.

HAPPINESS DEFINED

Hey Beauties,

                     Today is one of those days where I just felt the need to put my fingers to the keyboard and type my emotions so here goes……………………………...

    When someone says HAPPINESS; what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

Well the 1st thing that comes to my mind is "Family". Growing up in the system I don't really know 1st hand what a "family" is, but i've always imagined what it was to have one and I promised myself that I would always strive to have what I thought a family was. I don't know what its like to have a stand up man in my life and thats because most women get they're ideas from the fathers they have in they're lives and unfortunately No Family = No dad.  So instead of knowing what a "Great man" was, I got with men who I thought were great. The men who wanted to change me, the men who cheated, the men who lied, and the men who grew up in single family households and had no idea how a man was suppose to act or rather behave. I've spent my whole life praying for my idea of this "family" I so desperately seek. And a few times I thought I was close. I've had the men that I thought were heaven sent and I was on cloud 9 each and every time, but while I thought I was happy I didn't notice that I was changing who I was to fit each and every one of they're ideas of perfection. So in all actuallity I wasn't happy. I was so busy trying to fill a void that I had no idea that I was more lost than ever before. 

    The same men that hurt me were the same men I wanted this so called "family" with. I became someone I didn't recognize. I used to cry and ask myself , Why would you be with a man who cheats on you? Why would you be with a man who abuses you? Why would you want to be someones second choice? Why is that man that doesn't allow you to have a voice the man you hold so tight? Is this what "family" really means to you? Are you that weak?

And even though I knew the answers to all of those questions I stayed,

I stayed because I felt that maybe if I make them happy then they'll wanna return that same happiness. All men want a well educated, smart, corky women…. RIGHT?????? 

I don't know what its like to have a healthy relationship.

I don't know what its like to have someone try to make me happy.

I don't know what its like to Love someone and have that same love reciprocated.

All I know are tears. All I've ever felt is hurt. Feeling like Im not good enough, feeling like why me? Why can't I have a "family"?

After all of the tears and all of the hurt I realized that it wasn't what I was searching for, but rather WHO. 

I needed to find me. And each day I find another piece.

I have so many imperfections and I had to seriously understand that if a man loved me he wouldn't hurt me, there would be no tears, or cheating, and very few arguments.  So why was I settling? Oh yea it was for that damn "family". 

Out of the whole search I managed to have 3 great children 1 of which is no longer here but missed desperately. So I now have a family. My children are all the family I needed, and although it may not be the idea or dream I always wanted it may be JUST what I needed to break the cycle.

I now know that I have happiness. And having a man,or husband doesn't mean your happy. But having the "RIGHT" man in your life can ADD happiness to your already happy life. 

I will remain a hopeless romantic that is something I won't be able to help, but I will not allow romance to consume who I am as a woman, or have it allow me to be in situations that are extremly unhealthy. So what Is my Idea of HAPPINESS?

My idea of hapiness is being able to love ME unconditionally and loving my children to no end.  

Living my life because each day isn't promised, making mistakes, having little regrets, and allowing ME to be responsible for ME. And if and when that special someone comes along I'll know just what to look for. And what not to look for!
Until then I have all the happiness I need.. So now I ask
What Is your DEFINITION?

My Clarisonic Addiction

Hey Beauties,
           So over the course of the holidays I decided to purchase a Clarisonic. For those of you who are uaware of exactly what it is I will fill you in..
Clarisonic makes face and body machines with a spinning powerful brush heads that deep clean your face and body. A few of the brush sets are called
Mia
Mia 2
Aria
and thats not even naming them all. What I love about them is that they cater to just about ever skin type which allows any and every body to use them. To say I'm obsessed would be putting it lightly because this thing is truly a God send. My face has never felt better and my pores have never looked smaller. The prices can range anywhere from $99-$399 and honestly it is worth ever penny. To see my full review and tutorial I will be posting a video below. As usual I would like to Thank you for visiting and I hope this was helpful.