So a lot of people have been asking why I feel the need to post so much of my life on the web and being the type of human that I am I figured I'd answer in the only way I know how.
I totally enjoy living my life for the world to see. It's not for attention, it's not for money, (even though that's a nice perk).. It's because I feel that with everything that life has thrown my way I have a voice and I truly feel that people can either learn from my mistakes or relate from some of my experiences.
I've learned so long ago that I am just not your average person. I mean I have two arms, a mouth, some legs and a brain, so in that sense I am just like everyone else. But the way I think is just so far from "NORMAL"!
Ok for starters I live in a fantasy bubble. I think my life should be like some sort of romantic fairytale. Like the whole rose pedals at my feet and candlelit dinners every month type thing.
Second I don't take anything for granted. Like Anything.
I have had numerous surgeries, I live with a genetic blood disorder which causes me to have blood Transfusions and IV iron infusions every few months, and I think growing up in foster care, being raped as a teen, and being molested as a child also should have made me a bitter betty; don't you think?
But it hasn't! My life hasn't broken me, hasn't made me hate being who I am, nor has it made me regret any of those experiences.
NO I don't need anyone's pity, and HELL NO those things should have never happened to me, or to anyone for that matter. But it has allowed me to be the woman I am today. I wear each and every experience as a badge of honor.
When I was younger I used to always lift me head to the sky and ask God "why me" and that answer came to me through my children. I am a mother of 3. One being a 12yrs old little girl that I cradle and protect ever single day from what the world has to offer. It allows me to be the mother to her that I never got an opportunity to know. I can relate to what she may feel and I can make damn sure that no one every hurts her the way I was hurt.
Let's be honest for a second
Foster children are known for repeating a lot of the cycles that they've witnessed throughout the years. Violence, Rape, Drug Abuse, Teen pregnancy and Suicides.
I've lived a life where I could have easily been a drug addict, a prostitute, or even have committed Suicide.
But having to burry a child at 15yrs old makes you look at life a little differently. I had to grow up fast, because I was put in a situation were adult decisions had to be made. There was no room for giving up! Only space for growth.
And that was my wake up call!
I needed to live to tell my story, I survived some unthinkable experiences so that I could break the cycle. My children have a mother who knows enough about life to not allow them to become victims. Who knows the type of love they need in order for them not to have to search for it outside of home. So many people live in silence and I guess everyone wonders why "I" chose not to....
Why should I have to pretend like I am perfect? Why should I pretend like life didn't deal me a bad hand?
The answer is I shouldn't.. NO one should.
My life has taught me to never make excuses because things truly aren't that bad.
My life has taught me to be grateful for every "Tomorrow".
My life has taught me the difference between bad and a leaning experience.
My life has taught me that I will always be a great mother, wife and person to every single person that comes encounter with me.
Because I am grateful & happy just to have BREATH!!
I LIVE MY LIFE PUBLICLY BECAUSE I AM NOT ASHAMED OF WHAT I'VE BEEN THOUGH.
I embrace it!
This "Foster Girl" has a voice.
And I truly hope that someone learns from my experiences, speaks because they too have a voice, and lives life everyday; grateful to be alive.
I hope this answers the question everyone has been asking.
LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH ... (ALOUD)
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